You’ve likely heard the word mindfulness being used recently–it’s become a bit of a buzzword in society, but what is it and what does it actually look like to be mindful?

Some people may think being mindful is to think a lot about things. It’s actually a practice in giving your mind a break from thinking. Mindfulness is slowing down our thinking and trying to rest our mind for a few minutes. We all know our body needs a rest from physical work. So does our mind. Research shows that sleep really isn’t a big break for our mind because sleep is when all the activities of the day get sorted out in our brain. Our brain has to file all our day’s activities and sometimes it struggles to do that and we can’t sleep or we ruminate about problems. Being mindful is actually clearing our mind so that we can gain some skills in resting our mind. We can accomplish being mindful in a number of different ways: meditation, being curious about our thoughts, stillness, mindful walks, self-compassion activities, and the list goes on.

Research shows that people who are mindful are less depressed, more energetic, more creative, and find more meaning in life.[i] Couples who use mindfulness together communicate better, feel more connected, and are more satisfied with their relationship.[ii] When couples use mindfulness in sex, they feel less anxiety, can talk about sexual issues more freely, and feel more satisfied with the sexual experience.[iii]

SO HOW MINDFUL ARE YOU?

Take this short Mindfulness Assessment to see how mindful you are in your daily life. And don’t worry if you realize that you aren’t as mindful as you’d like to be. That’s normal. It takes practice to develop more mindfulness in your life.

Want to improve your mindfulness? Here are some practices you can try.

[i] Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of personality and social psychology, 84(4), 822.

[ii] Kimmes, J. G., Durtschi, J. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2017). Perception in romantic relationships: a latent profile analysis of trait mindfulness in relation to attachment and attributions. Mindfulness, 8(5), 1328-1338.

[iii] Leavitt, C. E., Lefkowitz, E. S., & Waterman, E. A. (2019). The role of sexual mindfulness in sexual wellbeing, relational wellbeing, and self-esteem. Journal of sex & marital therapy, 45(6), 497-509.

Chelom Leavitt

Dr. Chelom E. Leavitt teaches and researches healthy sexuality. She received her PhD from Penn State. Her research specifically examines how being present, accepting, and non-judgmental is linked to improved sexual functioning and satisfaction. Dr Leavitt’s research has been published in the top academic journals. She teaches seminars on sex and healthy relationships around the world. Chelom is married to David Leavitt and they have eight (yes, eight) children.